Since my last post, something really big happened. I was accepted into the PhD program at the University of Minnesota for Cognitive and Brain Sciences in the Psychology department!!! It’s a dream come true!!

I took a big risk only applying to one school, and as a top school in the nation for this program, it’s certainly not a “safety” school. I lucked out big time.

As soon as I found out I had been accepted, I was EXHAUSTED!! I’ve been holding onto this anxiety for so long and I finally feel like I can relax a little. Not a lot, but some. So, I’ve been sleeping a lot more this past week.

I’m so happy! Nervous and excited and happy! I know it’s going to be very challenging, but it’s really an ideal situation. My adviser is fantastic. I’ve already been working with him for over a year on research I will likely continue in graduate school. I don’t have to relocate, which is great because I love Minneapolis, I love the U of MN, I love the people in my department, and I love my Minneapolis friends. Life is good!!

So now that we know we’re going to be here at least another five to seven years, we’re talking about buying a house. We are completely clueless about anything house-related, so this will be a challenge. We could use all the advise we can get. I used to be addicted to House Hunters and those HGTV shows, so I assumed I’d have a wealth of knowledge on the topic by now. Not the case, unfortunately.

In other news, my resolutions have been going well. I’ve been working out every day, except for yesterday, I totally forgot! But I did get a decent amount of walking in, so maybe that still counts. I haven’t been eating sweets and for some (menstrual) reason, this week has been absolute torture! I was pretty much willing to sell my soul for a turtle sundae. It’s been rough. But I think the cravings are finally starting to fade.

I’ve also had very strong cravings for macaroni and cheese. So, I picked up a couple of Amy’s gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free Rice Macaroni frozen dinners. So good!! If you’re like me and you’re having crazy dairy cravings, this might help.

Well, that’s all for now. I have much studying to do this weekend. It’s very tempting to slack off in my final undergrad semester, especially since my husband and friends are having the time of their lives on the slopes right now, but the courses I’m taking are actually extremely important for my future research, so I must push through. And the classes are actually pretty awesome, anyway. One course I’m taking is the Psychology of Music, which is exactly the type of research I’m interested in. And since my adviser teaches the class, not doing well would be kind of embarrassing.

Just to give you a heads-up: Oprah will be having a special tonight on veganism. Lisa Ling will be investigating factory farming, Michael Pollan and Kathy Freston will be making appearances, and Oprah and her staff will be going vegan for a week. So, if you are able, do tune in!

photo by JSmith Photo

For someone who claims to love school, I’m really not looking forward to going back next week. Last semester was so mentally exhausting, and this winter break has been so chill, it’s going to be hard getting back into the daily grind. I’m enjoying my routine of going to bed and waking up whenever I want, starting my day with a great workout and a delicious grapefruit, drinking tea, catching up on books I’ve been wanting to read that weren’t school textbooks, keeping up with world news, writing my favorite blog in the world, organizing my apartment, devising ways of saving money (has anyone else seen the TLC show Extreme Couponing? Holy Crap!), chilling with my cat, being the unofficial art director and adviser to my freelancing husband, researching where our next apartment will be, doing all the crap I didn’t have time to do last semester, and most of all, being able to relax and have fun! It’s been so fantastic spending so much time with the hubs now that he works from home. It’ll be hard to say goodbye in the morning, knowing his walk to work is only about 30 feet from the bed, while I must brave the cold– and looking out my windows right now– the blizzard, hoping my bus will arrive on time to pick me up.

But I’m sure I’ll toughen up and get back into the swing of it in no time. My only concern is that I’ll want to slack off from my workout routine. I was certainly terrible about working out last semester. But I think my new-found love of pilates will motivate me to keep it up. And once the weather improves… some day in the distant future… a jog outside after a stressful day will feel amazing, and will help reduce stress.

And now for a little vegan talk: According to the Washington Post, veganism has moved into the maintstream. It’s no longer viewed as an entirely radical way of life. That’s good news for vegans and the veg-curious! Remember the days when it was a challenge just to find vegetarian options at restaurants? Well, the more maintstream veganism becomes, the more vegan options will become available, thus making the vegan lifestyle easier! Read the full article here: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2011/01/05/AR2011010503153.html

Adam Yauch (right), of Beastie Boys fame, has been battling cancer since 2009 and it looks like he’s winning! Yauch has been using a strict vegan diet and Chinese medicine to help fight off a tumor in his salivary gland. Yauch is not the first person to use a vegan diet as a cancer cure. (see previous post on Kris Carr). Yauch continues to fight, but is optimistic that he will be cancer-free in the near future!

See article on Yauch in the Seattle PI: http://blog.seattlepi.com/people/archives/235153.asp

I watched Oprah the other day for the first time in a while. An actress I became a fan of after watching the show Arrested Development, Portia de Rossi, was talking about her book. It’s called Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain, and it discusses her long hidden struggle with an eating disorder, as well as hiding the fact that she was gay. I got the book yesterday, and managed to fly through all 308 pages in half a day. Portia is a great writer and is incredibly honest and graphic about her struggle.

As someone who constantly struggles with her body image and food, and has ever since grade school, this book really spoke to me. Of course, I’ve never had to deal with pressure to be thin to the extent Portia did. Starting at age 12 when she began to model, all the way up through her move from Australia to Los Angeles, she was constantly being judged, and judging herself, by her looks. Being surrounded by models at a young age can really mess with your perception of normal eating. And, in fact, her perception of normal eating was to starve herself before any big event, like a photo shoot, or a revealing scene on Ally McBeal, and reward herself with food when it was done. This went on for years, making for extreme weight fluctuations and an inability to maintain her weight at any point. Finally, the pressure to be thin, and basing her entire self worth on her looks brought her to her breaking point, upon which she spiraled into anorexia, dropped down to a frightful 82 pounds (at almost 5’8″) and nearly died.

But the good news is, she managed to conquer her eating disorder, and now listens to her body and eats whatever it craves. She no longer feels the need to binge, purge, starve herself, or compulsively exercise. And I’m mentioning this on a vegan blog, because when Portia finally listened to what her body wanted, eating animal products didn’t make sense to her:

As I listened to my internal nutritionist, I stopped wanting to eat meat, eggs, and dairy. This was something that carried over from childhood, as I never liked eating chicken breasts or steaks because I was worried about finding veins or fatty tissue. I also didn’t like eating processed meat, like chicken nuggets and ground beef, because I was worried that I would get a mouthful of gristle. I definitely would never eat off the bone because the bones really reminded me of the fact that a living animal that had a heart and a mind and a family had been attached to those bones. I also hated the thought of ingesting the growth hormones that are given to so many animals in recent years to increase their weight and therefore their market value. And it disturbed me that I would drink a cow’s milk, which is designed to increase its calf’s weight to 400 pounds in as short a time as possible. I have always been a little squeamish at the thought of drinking another mammal’s milk. I find it odd that humans are the only species that not only drinks another species’s milk, but that we keep doing it as adults.

While I have never felt more healthy and energized, the most important thing that happened to me when I stopped eating animals was a sense of connectedness. When I was suffering with an eating disorder, my life was solely about me. I was living through my ego and didn’t care about life around me. I was selfish and angry, and because I didn’t care about myself, I also didn’t care about littering in the street or polluting the environment. My decision not to eat animals anymore was paramount to my growth as a spiritual person. It made me more aware of greed and more sensitive to cruelty. It made me feel like I was contributing to making the world better and that I was connected to everything around me. I felt like I was part of the whole by respecting every living thing rather than using it and destroying it by living unconsciously. Healing comes from love. And loving everything in turn helps you love yourself.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who has ever struggled with having a healthy self-image (and for those of you who haven’t, you are my heroes). I’ve read other books on eating disorders, but this one was definitely the most impactful.

As part of my new year’s resolution, I have vowed to work out every day and eat healthier (no more sweets, way more fresh fruits and veggies). I started out running outside every day. I even ran when the streets were covered with snow and it was pouring rain. But it wasn’t terribly cold, so I didn’t mind, aside from the fact that I could barely see with all the rain. But the temperature dropped pretty drastically again the day after it rained. So the puddles all turned to ice and my run tuned into a run… walk slowly over ice patch… start running again… stop and walk slowly over ice patch.. and so on, which was pretty annoying, not to mention it was bitter cold and windy! Oy! So, I knew I had to come up with alternative indoor workouts.

I had done yoga a few times and realized it wasn’t for me. I admire people who can do yoga regularly, and I hope to get to that point, but I just get so bored! I used to take a pilates class, which I really enjoyed, so I decided to take that up again. It’s enough movement to keep me interested and it’s a great workout. Luckily for me, Netflix has tons of pilates and other workout videos that I can stream instantly, so I’ll never get bored with the same old workout videos again. Hooray!! Anyway, I’ve been really enjoying my pilates videos and find them to be a great contrast to running. It’s either this or I join the business women in their tennies for a powerwalk around Minneapolis’ indoor skyway system at lunchtime.

Additionally, I’m buying a lot more produce these days. Our counter is covered with fresh fruits and veggies. Every morning, I start my day with a big, juicy grapefruit. I’m a citrus fiend. Maybe it’s because when my mom was pregnant with me, she craved and ate oranges every day. I dunno. Whatever the case, I  don’t think I will ever tire of oranges or grapefruits. I’ve also finally settled on my favorite type of apple: honeycrisp. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t contain any honey . Fun fact: honeycrisp was first cultivated at my school, the University of Minnesota.  And as of 2006, it is Minnesota’s state fruit!

Now, I must confess I had my first sweet temptation yesterday. I was at Whole Foods, picking up a few items, and I walked past the vegan Smores by Sweet & Sara. I picked one up, set it in my basket, and walked to the check-out. When I realized the error of my ways, I pouted a little, walked back to the sweets section and put it back. For those of you who have not given up sweets, you really ought to try them. They’re totally awesome.

Anyway, I’m proud of myself for not giving in. Maybe there’s some willpower left in me after all.

photo by DailyM = Differentieel + JeeeM

Dear Walnuts,

I’m sorry I always forget how awesome you are. You are crunchy, yet soft. You are full of flavor, and require no roasting, salting, candying, or sprucing up of any kind. I like you just the way you are. You are a great mediary between meals. One handful is all it takes. You are the best!

Sincerely Yours,
Emily

French fries are yummy, but not very healthy. Sweet potato fries are amazing. But again, frying.. not so healthy. Might I suggest baking the sweet potatoes? They’re still amazingly delicious with a little salt sprinkled on top. Bake at 400 degrees for about 30 minutes, or until crisp on the outside. You can also broil them for a few minutes after they’re done baking for extra crispiness.Yum! Also good with ketchup or a spicy barbecue sauce.

The hubs and I saw Black Swan yesterday and we were completely blown away. That film is absolutely fantastic. It’s suspenseful, beautiful, frightening, and brilliant. I highly recommend you go see it. Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis risked their health to represent the frightfully thin look of professional ballerinas. It was shocking, but dare I say beautiful? Thankfully, immediately after they completed filming, they both were able to bounce back to a healthy weight in no time. I admire actors that become so deeply engrossed in their rolls, as those two did. They trained just as hard as professional dancers. Natalie even suffered an injury where one of her ribs got tucked underneath another one, due to all the dance lifts. Ouch!

Natalie Portman, vegetarian at home, vegan when she goes out, is my hero for many reasons. She’s a brilliant actress, she’s beautiful, and she’s an animal rights activist. She has a passion for her work that is inspirational. I hope to bring that sort of passion into my daily life. If we don’t have passion, what’s the point?

So this is my other new year’s resolution. In addition to taking care of myself and creating a healthier version of me through healthy vegan eating and daily exercise, I want to be passionate. Passionate about my work, about school, about veganism, and about my personal life. I want to get excited about waking up in the morning because I am so eager to live life. I want to let go of my anxiety and fear of failure and start loving what I have and being excited to reach my goals. Fear is paralyzing. Passion is invigorating.

However, it’s important to note the fine line between passion and unhealthy obsession. This is shown in Black Swan. Sometimes people become so passionate about something, they begin to lose their sense of reality. I think it’s wonderful to become so deeply engrossed in something you love to do, but don’t forget to touch base with reality now and then, or you might lose track of what’s real and what’s really just in your head.

A couple of news items caught my eye yesterday, and in case you missed them, I thought I’d share.

A revelation: neanderthals, much like humans today, were not exclusively carnivorous. They ate vegetables. They even cooked their vegetables. We are not so different after all…

http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/12/29/neanderthals.diet/index.html?iref=allsearch

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Bill Clinton makes veganism popular. Click on the link below for a really good article about it. How many former presidents do you know that promoted veganism? Well, we have one now! Bill Clinton, whose love of fast food is well-known (remember the SNL sketch?), is now making the vegan diet seem plausible to the average American. After having a multitude of health problems and heart surgeries, Clinton is  promoting a healthier lifestyle these days, and that lifestyle is veganism…

http://www.salon.com/life/feature/2010/12/27/bill_clinton_vegan_warrior/index.html

(see previous post on Chelsea Clinton and veganism)